freddymumbles

once upon a time got to count for something, i figured.

i pray for the next few years our xmas eve tradition will be kept up because i am selfish like that i still want you around. now now, where is soldier girl?

its e present nite
where all around the world geta receive present frm frens n loved ones.
how bout letting go the fuckg shit thoughts n lets party?

human nature's un-changable

Someone called me a few hours before my trip and told me to watch my back, cause people are watching my every move, judging and scrutinizing. She said to watch my actions and whatever i'm doing right now's not.. me? How do you define whats "you" and whats not. If i cant even define it myself, how or why should other people be saying that is or thats not me. You guys dont even know me well or even well enough to judge and this whole thing is really getting on my nerves and screwing with my brain. So fuck off and i'm so sick of everything, you're not in my position so you cant say anything. though i may not be in the best position or state right now but i'm leading my own life and you can say whatever you want cause its not going to matter much anyway i like whatever i'm doing and so what if they're not the best choices i've made so far in my life i'm taking things as they come and dealing with them when i'm ready so fuck and get your own life. Maybe i will take some advice and go into hiding and disappearing. As much as i want to figure out my thoughts and feelings my new purpose in life, i cant my brain simply drifts away into nothingness and i can only drown myself into music before facing this endless cycle yet again every single time.

I'm tired.
tired of feeling this way
tired of dealing with all this nonsense
tired of dealing with people like this

Gossip's a fact of life. what do you do with facts? You've just got to learn to accept it

"Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be."

When will he finally understand, I do not know.
But I know you're not who you deem yourself to be,
because a woman's instincts usually work,
& I've an instinct.
Wake up.

Have you ever had this strong feeling that someone is going to be where you are?
This strong instinct that somehow that person will be there?
Today's one of those days.
ilikeit.

Went to Queensway with the team to get our shoes. We went to anchorpoint for lunch, walked to queensway to search for a cheaper pair of shoes, but still bought them at $125 in the end. Asics, the latest netball shoes. HAPPY MUCH. This is going to be the first time I'm wearing Asics shoes! After Queensway we went back to school to paint the carnival banner, which turned out pretty well :D


HWACHONG OWN!:D

Pretty banner. & everyone got so tired after painting. It was the time of the day.
Dance prac went fairly smoothly as well, & now I'm tired as hell.

I wanna watch Avatar 3D :(

How does it feel to have your heart beat faster
When the one you love comes closer.

dun b surprise how fast can thing / human changes
once a little subject happened, the perfect impression changed
jus like e above image..looks pretty clear  frm far but who knows u'll find pieces of rubbish when u get a closer view.

cuscaden ytd was awesome!im quite sure it was those F_ _ _ topic that made our day no? hahaha fully njoy!!!
yay xmas's really nearby! woohoo~
n...i cant wait for new yr & chi new yr to come by!!! =D
i wna go kelong too!!!

Will you ever know. I don't think so.

JUST LOOK AT THE DATE YAYYYYYY.

anw i almost went crazy trying to complete my pyschology project.
it makes me mad

BUT YAY JUSTTTTTT LOOK AT THE DATE HEHEHEHEHE
SO HAPPI. HAHA.

going for xray tmr i hope that its not a fracture.

i cant work cant ball cant shop cant go to malaysia cant bathe properly cant sleep well and i have to use the damn crutches
all i do is lie on my bed watch tv use comp and keep eating
just realised my hair grew longer and i've grown fatter
thanks to... this fucking ankle.

but on a brighter note, i might be able to skip fitness test on the 29th :D

 haha i saw so many nice killers shirt! so tempting to just buy them all. and it looks like the killers concert will be a no go. hopefully there'll be videos of the concert on mtv/youtube. anyway, i'll be gone tomorrow, next time you hear from me is probably next year. or a few hours before 2010, depending on your luck. so MERRY CHRISTMAS!! HAPPY NEW YEAR! every end is a new beginning, every new beginning is a new beginning! have a great new beginning everyone. 

haha i just realized that all my unlocked posts are pretty outdated. lol and it looks like some youtube video sharing site or something. shall not lock so many posts. i kinda miss like having everyone over at my place although its just slightly less than 24 hours since they left. its quite fun to be admist all that noise we always make whenever we get the chance. somehow we always seem as though we have so many things to say, but so little time. i like that feeling. can't believe i'm flying off in slightly more than 24 hours! oh no, benoh flew off already. i didn't say bye. and he didn't call to say his usual line. haha i hope i don't end up rotting in taiwan.

All the cogitation these days have led me to many opinions that I'm struggling to figure. Perhaps, I just cannot comprehend the reasons for my actions, the "why" to what I've been doing of late when I know that there ain't going to be anything in the end. Just an imagination gone wild. & I should prevent it from sinking deeper, but controlling such emotions are hard to handle.
What do I do then. I cannot possibly forgo, yet neither can I possible attain. How hard a decision on whether to let it go. Or persist just a little harder with that dim array of hope?I honestly have no clue. One of my friends believe in doing what she thinks her heart wants to. Is it really true? Even if you know that chances are slim, & success would be miraculous? Would you still dare to step forward into the danger zone of a heartbreak?Believing is, perhaps a strong influence of choice. If I choose to believe, maybe I would persist.
Should I? The feeling of such wavering emotions can take a toll on people, especially people like me. It is as though your mind is playing with your heart repeatedly. And yet, no one knows because your brave front is so real. So sturdy. Yet deep inside you don't know where's the limit. Yet I don't believe in admitting to failure. Why do people call themselves losers? Because they don't believe. Failing once does not equate to failing forever. Why can't some people understand? A loser would stay one until he or she  steps out of their isolated world to take a peek at the humungous world right out there waiting for them. No one wants to stay a loser forever. & no one is born a loser. No one at all. Winners are meant to fail at least once in their lives to apprehend the feeling of failure so as to give them the spur to focus on the win.

Okay I'm ranting crap I should go sleep.

(i miss you, but i'm trying not to care anymore.)

i had training in the morning, ha was kinda happy because 64% today. woots! had to maintain though its quite difficult. lucks to me. after training, went to amk subway with mn, chat alot and i had one footlong plus meal. damn alot, not hungry but feel like eating, super weird la. like crazy. I WANT TO SLIM DOWN!!! /: and then back home, nap all the way. haha i am a pig... hopes that tmr it's friendly and not training opps =X selective ppl are really irritating sometimes!! >:(

 thanks everyone!! for one of the most amazing christmas parties OF ALL TIME! haha stayover was amusing. we talked about the most random things on the surface of earth, we played cards till we saw double, we played ps3 till we got knocked out. haha my family can't imagine how 6 people squeezed into my small room!! its kinda sad i won't be around for christmas though. and i will be back like 3 hours before 2010, which is quite annoying. cos i won't really have much time to say what i want to say to the people that matter most to me like before the new year. i really hope the new year doesn't draw us away from each other. we should like meet up on a weekly basis! (: once again, thanks everyone for putting the fun in last night's "party". 

I'm in no position to get upset so that's it i'm telling you i'm done here. I don't know what to believe but you know what? It really doesn't matter anymore.

the thought of me facing my fear is so funny ...... hahaha :D